OH LIFE! Sometimes we have questions about life that we just need to have answered! Welcome to the Question & Answer section of PLUSHPOUT. If you have a question you need answered regarding a life issue, please send Questions to: LIFEQ@PLUSHPOUT.COM
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Q: I feel like I have no direction in life because I was so sheltered, and as my boyfriend likes to say "BABIED" when I was growing up. My parents have always influenced my decisions. If I wanted to do something they didn't approve of, I couldn't do it. For instance, I want to be a clothing designer, they want me to be a lawyer. I wanted to cut my hair short, they preferred it long. Now that I'm a bit older, I find myself thinking "but what would my parents want" before making any decisions. I want to get to a point where I don't feel like I'm upsetting them with my decisions. HELP!
A: Although your parents seem to want what's best for you in life, they seem to have blinded you from who you REALLY are and who they think you SHOULD be. You need to have an open discussion with them about how it makes you feel when they get upset about you wanting to be your own person.
You have to also let them know it's time to realize you're growing up, and you're free to make your own choices. If this goes on forever, it will have a bad influence on your relationships and possibly get in the way of your goals and dreams.
Your parents love you very much, and I am sure they would never stay mad at you for long if you made a choice they didn't approve of. Sometimes you have to do what's best for yourself, and hope that others get used to it (and they usually do after the adjustment phase).
As far as your boyfriend goes, let him know you plan to discuss this with your parents, and that you're going to try to be more independent. If ths is a serious relationship he likely wants to be sure that you have plans to start making your own decisions. Sometimes this can scare guys away because they feel as though you're in more of a relationship with your parents than with him. Most importantly, do it for you. You'll start to be a more confident person when you realize you can do things for yourself. Promise!
Q:My boyfriend is always checking out other girls and making comments like "wow, she has great legs/hair/eyes etc" and it's starting to make me feel like I can't give him everything he wants. It seems like he wants to take 20 different girls, pick out all their best features and make his own super girl. I can't be perfect, but it's starting to make me wonder if it's just him that can't seem to appreciate what he has, or if it's guys in general. I know some of his friends are the same way. Help, I need to know if I could find someone that would make me feel good about myself rather than ruin my self-esteem.
A: As Lauren from The Hills would put it, your boyfriend seems to be a "sucky person"! Never let his disgusting behavious make you feel bad about yourself though. He seems to lack respect not only for you, but for himself aswell. If he did have respect for himself, he wouldn't allow himself to be a person who hurts other people's feelings.
The first thing you can do is tell him that you're starting to feel down because of his constant comments about other girls. If he doesn't respect that enough to quit, then respect YOURSELF enough to walk away. I know it's easier said than done, but in the end it's what's right. There are sooo many guys out there who respect their girlfriends and really know what they have. Sure, a guy is going to glance at a bombshell when she walks by, but there's no need for hurtful comments. Bottom line. You may not be perfect for him, bit you're perfect for someone. You just have to be strong enough to realize that.
If it's perfection he wants, he is going to lead a VERY sad life. Perfection doesn't exist. He will never find a girl that is EVERYTHING he needs. That's why relationships take work. The difference between the good guys and the bad guys? The good ones aren't too lazy to put the work in. The bad/lazy ones would rather search for someone who already has everything they want because they believe they wont have to work at anything.
I hope you make the right choice, and I really hope your boyfriend will realize a thing or two about how to treat a girl. He's not perfect, and he shouldn't expect other people to be.
Q: Lately I've been obsessed with calories and how much I eat. I just want to lose a litle bit of weight, but it's seems to be slowly taking over my mind. I always feel like I'm achieving something great when I can eat very little on a day. I've always been a smart girl and try to be a good person. I want to have a good future and have children some day. I don't want an eating disorder and all the problems associated with it. In my opinion it's too much work. How can I prevent myself from going over the edge and becomming too obsessed? How can I do this the healthy way?
A: First of all I want to say you seem to be a VERY smart girl who knows what she wants in life. Good for you! I'm happy to hear you want to do this the healthy way, and believe me you CAN.
These days a lot of girls seem to think the only way to lose weight is by starving themselves. It is actually quite the opposite.
I must note that eating disorders aren't something to take lightly. An eating disorder CAN and WILL kill you. If you think you or a friend could have a serious problem, please tell an adult or contact a help line. CLICK HERE if you ever need to contact one!
To lose weight the healthy way, you have to understand the benefits first. With an eating disorder, you may lose weight, but you'll aso have weak hair, bad nails and ashy skin. Not a nice look. Losing weight the healthy way will actually help you look nicer. Your hair will shine, your skin will glow and your nails will be stronger.
As soon as you can get that through your head, you'll hopefully be in the right state of mind to get over the calorie obsession.
I am not a professional, and can't design a diet plan for you. Everyone needs different foods based on weight, height, allergies etc. Speak to a nutritionist or a doctor and they can help you out. If you want to know the specific nutrients a food offers, google it. You'll learn a lot. Something that works well for me is drinking green tea. It's good for you because it's full of antioxidents, but it speeds up your metabolism too.
Either way, understand that if looking good is what you want, starving and stressing over calories WILL NOT do it. Working out, drinking water and developing a good diet plan that suits your needs WILL.
Good luck, and feel free to write to let me know how you're doing with this. I love to hear success stories!
*NOTE: Any advice given on plushpout.com is for entertainment purposes ONLY. We are not professionals and do not claim to be. If you have a serious problem, be sure to contact a professional.
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